So one of my closest friends called me the other day, who hadn’t talked to me a whole lot since he got married. I asked him how he was doing and he said, “Life jhand hai.Yaar kabhi shaadi ni karni chahiye.Main pachta raha hun karke.” I laughed and didn’t realize that he was not joking. He was distressed. So I sat down and tried to analyze the situation. And then decided to jot everything down so that no one else repeats the mistake he made.
- Can you spend your whole life with them?
First of all, I told him to sit down somewhere and see if he can spend his whole life with this woman. I told him that right now, it has only been a year. Can you spend the next 60 years of your life with her happily?
The lesson we can all learn here is that at times in life, a month of being with someone is more than enough to know them if they are being real. Otherwise, we can be with someone for 10 years and still not know them at all. We need to make an effort, get to know each other and figure out if that is what we really want in life. We need to show our true selves and try not to portray something that we are not. Be open about who you are.
2. People change! Learn to love them for who they are!
This is something we all need to understand. Let’s look at ourselves. Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? I sure am not. I am a lot stronger and opinionated than I was before. Change is natural. Our circumstances change, times change, seasons change and just like that, people change.
It was hard for me to accept this fact in life. But I guess this is what we need to learn. Do you love them enough to accept the changes in them that will take place over the years? Would you still love them the same way?
3. Break-up if your partner is trying to change you!
They decided to be with you for who you were. And now if they are telling you to change the same things they liked once upon a time, it is NOT acceptable. If you force yourself to change, you will lose your ESSENCE.
While talking to my friend, this is what I I told him.”Tu ping-pong ball ke jaisa tha, aur ab hwa nikli hui football ke jaisa ho gya hai.” We both cracked up after hearing these words come out of my mouth and he said,”Baatein to tu deep kar leti hai, par examples bade ghatiya deti hai. Aise ke bande ki mardangi nikal jaye.” We laughed but he knew that I was saying the right thing.
4. Are they trying to distance you from your family and friends?
Before they came in your life, you already had your family and friends. Your partner coming in your life does not mean that you will start distancing yourself from your loved ones. If that is happening, it is a red flag.
My friend said that his partner complains about all his friends and then says that nobody likes her. She tells him to stay at home and not go out with his friends. He is losing everyone in his life.
5. Listen to your friends!
Once you get into a relationship, you will instantly know if your friends like your partner or not. Your friends know you a whole lot more than your partner does. When you look at a relationship from a detached perspective, you can figure out if two people are right for each other or not. So if your friends hate your partner, you should probably think about your relationship again.
6. Is it true love?
According to me, true love is the one that never dies. The way we love our parents, siblings, grandparents and school friends, that is what pure love is. When you are willing to do anything for the ones you love. No matter how many times you fight or get into arguments, at the end of the day, you love those people with all your heart and there is nothing more meaningful in your life than those relationships. So if you can love a person with that much passion, that is true love. Otherwise, you are just wasting your time my friend!
To be continued… XOXO ❤