Understanding people who hurt you!

So I was reading a book this evening and a sentence caught my attention.”..the relatively few people we call sociopaths, or psychopaths-those who have the clinical diagnosis “antisocial personality disorder.” These people lack consciences, routinely disregard social norms, feel no empathy for others, and are treacherously manipulative, destructive, and remorseless for the damage they inflict on others..”

And then I started watching these videos of serial killers who did not feel any kind of remorse whatsoever.

 

I always ask my mother that how on earth does a person not feel a thing after hurting someone. I was talking about a family member and was trying to figure out that how on earth can you not care about your own blood.

In relationships, the person we fall for so hard ends up scarring us for life. We see this all the time. Two people love each other and then one day you hear this story of some kind of abuse. This makes you wonder what went wrong.

I have come to a conclusion that certain people are just born that way. They lack any kind of empathy. These people want something, they go and get it. And after they have achieved their goal, they dump the other person or end up hurting them. People who are very emotional, sensitive and are in tune with their higher self feel like it was their fault. They blame themselves if a relationship does not work out. But we need to realize that we are not the ones at fault. And I wouldn’t blame these psychopaths either. They are born this way and we can not really alter anyone’s genes or brain. May be could treat them. But I don’t think that we can invoke empathy or any kind of goodness in such people. Their world revolves around themselves. Anyone else’s happiness in none of their concern.

As we can see in this video. Charles does not have any kind of guilt. He says he could kill anyone and not feel bad about it. Only thing he feels remorse about is that he did not kill enough people! And of course this is an extreme case. I am not saying that every weirdo in our life is exactly like this guy. This is just an example.

So anyone out there who feels like they did not deserve a certain kind of treatment from their loved one, or if they feel like they can not move on in life because of some kind of abuse, I want you to know that YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL AND KIND SOUL! ❤ We are only humans. We can not change people. Surround yourself with people who are positive and ambitious in life. Don’t fall for anyone without really knowing them. And stop blaming yourself for things that didn’t go right. YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT! And never stop being so loving and kind because one day, you will find a genuine person who will love you for the goodness inside you! And please stay away from people who will hurt you or pull you down! At least try! 🙂 ❤

Spread love and peace! ❤ 😀

XOXO.. ❤

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Single this Valentine’s Day? I got your back!

So February has arrived and we can already see Archies & Hallmark going crazy with their Valentine’s Day cards, huge *ss Teddy Bears, heart shaped balloons, and a whole lot of presents. I went to the bakery the other day (because I have the biggest sweet tooth in the world :P) and it was filled with TulipesValentine’s Ombre Heart Cake, FLOURLESS CHOCOLATE SOUFFLÉMocha Pots De Crème, Love Bird Cake etc. Everything was pink, red and velvet with hearts, couples kissing, and Cupid’s arrow. First of all, who comes up with these fancy names? Like honestly, the harder the name is to pronounce, the more expensive the item will be. 😛 Just saying!

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This cracked me up! 😀

 

So I live in a community where it is kind of looked down upon if you don’t get married before 25. You can see thousands of couples every day holding hands, kissing each other for long periods of time in classrooms and hallways, people announcing that they got engaged or married. I have gotten so used to this that I don’t notice these things anymore. I am single even this year on Valentine’s day and I will tell you exactly what I do every year on this particular day.

1) Treat yourself! I go to the bakery and buy that one dessert I had been stopping myself from eating for the past month or so. This can count as a reward for being single and for staying away from additional drama in your life. 😀 😛

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2) Buy something for people you really LOVE! Your FAMILY! 😀 A lot of times, we start giving so much importance to people who are in our lives just for a couple of weeks/months, that we forget the ones who were there with us years ago and who will be with us “till the end of our days and beyond!” (I personally believe that FAMILIES ARE FOREVER. Our roles might change, but we will always be with each other in every life. We joke around in our family how my sister is the reincarnation of my Mother’s Great-Grandmother! Haha! My sister is going to kill me after this! 😀 :p <3)

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I put heart candies in these cans and write short sweet notes for my mother and sister, then I seal them. After that I decorate them and save them until I see my family again. Small gestures mean the most you guys! 🙂 ❤

3) We all dress up for other people! Why not dress up for yourself! 😀 I personally love dressing up! It gives a boost to my self-confidence. I feel like I can conquer the world when I feel good about myself. I buy dresses with hearts on them or leggings every year like you can see! 😀

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4) Party!!! 😀 I personally don’t like going out. But if you are one of those wild animals who love to party, then you should hit a club and dance till dawn. You can make new friends and have a good time. And in case you really want to be with someone, you can find a date for yourself at the club! 😀

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Let’s groove!

5) Netflix and chill! :p I mean just spend time with yourself! Haha! 😀 I am a huge fan of Netflix! Watch some action movies if you are into action. I watch all the romantic comedies, inspirational movies and documentaries. Make some popcorn and relax! You deserve a peaceful night fella!

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😀

Let’s stay happy and enjoy every moment LOVE! Life is too short to cry over someone who does not care about you. Your soulmate will come to you once you stop chasing all the wrong people in this world. Stand in front of a mirror, tell yourself that “I LOVE YOU” and that “I WILL CONQUER THE WORLD!”

Spread LOVE and PEACE! 😀

XOXO! ❤ ❤ ❤ :* :* :*

 

DIY Valentine’s Day gift ideas for HIM!

It is that time of the year again when you will find the Indian government doing some kind of “tamasha”. They will beat the crap out of all the couples, tell them how holy India is and how they are forgetting our Indian traditions. (Makes me not want to move back at times. :))

But on a brighter note, it is that time of the year when love is in the air! :p When you try and forget about the things you hate about your partner. When you want to make them feel special and loved! When the business of all the gift shops, bakeries and fancy restaurants booms! It is Valentine’s day and some of you might be stressing out about what you should gift your boyfriend/husband. Girl, don’t you worry! I am here to help you out! 😀 ❤ So I am a kind of person who loves making things instead of buying them. It adds a personal touch to your presents. Here are a few ideas for you! 😀

  1. Bake a cake!
     I am sure you know what his favorite flavor is! So go ahead and bake some Tres leches, Cheesecake, Chocolate cake, Devil’s food cake or if your man is a gym freak, you can bake Carrot cake, Flourless Chocolate Cake, Whole-Wheat Chocolate-Zucchini Cake, Whole-Wheat Apple Cake etc. You can write their name on it with frosting and surprise them when they get home from work! 😀

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    Cute eh?

 

2. Leave cute little notes all around the house!

Tell him the reasons you are head over heels for him! Leave a note by the sink so that he sees it first thing in the morning. Leave notes on the dinner table, lunch box, car, doors and every place you know he will be able to find them. I bet you that this will make his day! 😀

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Don’t you just love this?

3. A cute bag of necessities or his favorite things!

This one will vary from person to person. Who knows your man better than you do? 🙂 Get his favorite deo, may be he needs a moisturizer for this cold weather, may be his shaving cream is running out, he might be in need of some warm socks, get his favorite candies, packs of ramen noodels, a scheduler or anything else you can think of. Then get a cute bag and fill it with all these things. It will show him how much you care about him and that you actually listen between the lines. 🙂

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Them bags! ❤

4. DIY sharpie mugs

These are one of my favorite things to do! Get a white mug and oil based sharpies. There are so many ideas online. Decorate the way you want it! You can write “I LOVE YOU”, his initials or you can be creative and write something that means a lot to you guys. After you decorate it, just microwave the mug for about 30-40 minutes and it won’t wash away. 🙂 I do this all the time for my family! 🙂

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Love DIY mugs! 

5. A love letter or a card!

I believe in today’s day and age, being old soul is valued. Those texts, e-cards and emails are great, but you can’t see the effort in those things. Tell him how you felt the first time you saw him, your first date and every moment that is precious to you. May be a waiter messed up your order one time and he apologized, and said that he does not want the money for the meal. But your perfect man said, “Brother, no problem. We will pay for everything. Anyone could have made that mistake.” 😀 #KeepThatMan

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Just cz..

6. Cook his favorite dish!

May be he is your Punjabi Munda and loves rajma chawal or he is your Gujarati Chokra and loves dhokla. Fix his favorite meal and he will love your for life! 😀 We all know that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. This one never gets old! 🙂 Have a small candle light dinner at home or if you have plans for the night, pack the food for his lunch time. 🙂

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Food! ❤

7. Dress up for him!

Wear that gorgeous dress in your closet, and look your best! Show him that you put in a little extra effort just for HIM! May be he is planning to take you out on a date. 🙂 You gotta be ready at all times girl! 🙂

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Guilty as charged for loving Gauhar Khan! 😀

A present should be personalized. Money can never buy love. It is the small things that matter in life LOVE! The moments you spend with your man are precious. Live each second to the fullest! Life is short to cry over people who do not care about you! Show appreciation to the ones who genuinely love you and never chase a man who does not give a crap about you! And if you have had a bad experience with one person, that does not mean that every man in the world is the same. Give a chance to a good man out there! Love the one who loves YOU! 😀

Spread Love and Peace! 😀 ❤

XOXO! 😀 ❤

Let’s make someone’s day this Christmas!

It is Christmas time and New Year’s is around the corner. How exciting right? 😀 We are leaving a whole year behind. It is time for new beginnings and I couldn’t be happier! 😀

So I see all these homeless people in front of drugstores and on the streets. Seeing them freeze in this cold weather honestly breaks my heart. Last year, around 50 people FROZE to death in Salt Lake City! 😦

You know, one thing I have learned in life is that we should never judge anyone without knowing their story. Here are a few examples of how we are constantly judging others:

If a person is over weight, do not judge them! You do not know if they are going through a rough time in their life. May be they are doing their best and starving themselves everyday! May be they are hitting the gym every effin day! May be they are suffering from a disease. There are a million other reasons. But you do not know them or their story! SO STOP JUDGING THEM YOU IGNORANT HUMAN BEING!

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DO NOT JUDGE!

If you see a homeless person on the street, do not judge them! You do not know if that lady on the street was physically assaulted and had no where to go. That man on the street might have lost a loved one. He might be mentally traumatized by the tragic incident in his life. The father of those kids might have gone through a divorce. Do you even know how much it costs to get a divorce? That old lady you see outside Walmart might have lost everything she had to a natural disaster! Look beyond what you see my friend! 

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Look beyond what you see!

That movie star you keep judging for having a plastic surgery done, try and walk in their shoes for one day! I promise that you will never judge them ever again in your entire life! Do you realize how hard it is to be in the public eye 24/7? Do you realize how much pressure they are facing? They might have hit rock bottom in the past and this time they are not willing to take any risks whatsoever. They might be insecure about a certain part of their body. And why does it matter to you what they have done? It is their body, their money and time. It is none of YOUR business man! Stop judging them and do something in your own life!

This is the reason I always say that we need to walk in their shoes before judging them! So here is what I am doing this Christmas. Now please don’t start judging me! Haha! This video is only to encourage you guys! Please go ahead and help people who are less privileged! And if you can’t help them financially, go and give them a hug! Sit with them and talk! Hugging and talking are therapeutic! Go and make someone’s day YOU BEAUTIFUL SOULS! ❤ 😀

XOXO! 😀 ❤

 

 

Respect for Rohit Shetty movies!

So I am a typical Cancerian girl! Very sensitive, way emotional and a romantic movie buff. So because of this sensitivity, I can not stand loud noises, people fighting, yelling, hatred of any kind, blood shed and the list is never ending. And because of this weird nature, I have never been a fan of action movies. So if I am forced to go to a theater, this is how I end up watching an ACTION movie: I close my eyes with my fingers and ears with my thumbs throughout the movie. And if I am at home watching a movie, I skip all the action and blood shed.

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Ready, steady, po!

Everyone who knows me well enough knows one thing for a fact. I love Shah Rukh Khan! ❤ 😀 He is someone I look up to! Working with Shah Rukh Khan is my ultimate dream. You mention his name and my face will cheer up. So in 2013, when Chennai Express came out, I had to watch it. After all, it was SRK! ❤ I loved the entire movie. But when they started beating King Khan, I could not stand it. I skipped all of that action. It hurts when I see someone hitting SRK, even if it is not in real life. (I know it is silly! haha) So as you can see, I have a hard time admiring action in any movie.

But I came across Rohit Shetty‘s interview on Facebook this week. It was about his upcoming release Dilwale. We all know that SRK and Kajol are coming back together after years and I am super stoked about it! So I had to click on that link! Haha! 😀

Man! That video changed my entire outlook on action movies.! I felt ashamed of myself for not admiring people’s work. And here is the reason why.

Rohit Shetty talks about his stuntsmen who turn his vision into reality. They showed interviews of all those men, who risk their lives to entertain us. They have families that they need to feed. They have little kids waiting for them at home. Shankar Kotion has been working as a stuntsman since 1973 and he got burned while performing a stunt. It broke my heart when I saw his burnt hands. A big salute to him for still smiling and giving this interview.

I learned a lot of things after watching this video. I have started admiring action movies. I admire Rohit Shetty and his team’s hard work. Thank you for opening my eyes Sir! I hope and pray that Dilwale is a great success! My best wishes will always be with the love of my life, Shah Rukh Khan! ❤ 😀

Check out this eye opening video! Stop criticizing people! Look at their hard work and dedication. And if you can not admire someone’s work, it is better to stay mum rather than spreading hate comments, or making fun of their work.

Check out the video -> Dilwale | Heart behind Action | Shah Rukh Khan, Rohit Shetty

XOXO.. 🙂 ❤

Being racist against your fellow American only because he is BROWN and wears a TURBAN?

 

 

An old friend of mine just sent me a message on Facebook and told me that he was tagged in one of these pictures the other day. You ask why? Well, because he is a brown Sikh man.

First of all, let me take a moment to tell you about this handsome man in the picture. His name is Darsh Preet Singh. He was born and raised in South Texas. He is your fellow American. His friend Greg Worthington wrote,”That jersey he’s wearing in this pic, it currently sits in a Smithsonian Museum in Washington, DC because he made US history as the NCAA’s first turbaned Sikh American basketball player for Trinity University in my hometown of San Antonio. He was co-captain of that team when he played there. He’s worked in US Intelligence with the National Security Agency in the past and currently manages financial portfolios and hedge funds for some of the most compassionate companies in the US.”Just because he wears a turban does not make him any less American than you are. 

Being a brown skinned Sikh woman myself, it hurts when I see this sort of racism in the country I have called home for almost 5 years now.  And being a human, any kind of racism hurts. I was a Teacher’s Assistant for World Religions and Asian Religions for two years. The ignorance I saw in kids always blew my mind. College going students are the future of every country. And when those students live in a bubble, are not aware of anything else except their own traditions, it becomes a problem for the society. These are the students who are tomorrow’s leaders and we really need to take action right now if we want a peaceful society in future.

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This man! :/

America is a land of immigrants. And if the so called “white” people want all the immigrants to leave this country, then my friend, we all need to leave this country except Native Indians. Men like Donald Trump are making the situation worse. His recent call to barring all Muslims from entering the United States is going to increase racial discrimination. His supporters make me feel sick to my stomach. Bible teaches,”For God shows no partiality.” Then who are we to discriminate against people? I have one thing to say which will offend many people out there.But at this point, I do not care. America, Jesus Christ was not a white man! We all know it! Let’s face the truth here. Now are you going to discriminate against him as well? He was a brown man. Would his color make you respect him any less? I don’t think so.

If a person practices Islam, it does not make him a terrorist. If a person wears a turban, it does not make him a terrorist either.”You Are More Than 7 Times As Likely To Be Killed By A Right-Wing Extremist Than By Muslim Terrorists.”

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Let’s educate ourselves about other cultures and religions. Let’s start popping our bubbles. We need to stop being like a frog in a well. We can never progress if we keep on discriminating and suppressing the minorities in this country.

Darsh Preet Singh is a Sikh. We follow Sikhism.”Sikhs believe that all those that believe in One God, irrespective of their faith are devotees of God, whether he is a Sikh, Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, or a Muslim. Where does the name Hindu, Sikh, Muslim and Christian come from? It comes from the source that inspired you. If you happen to be in this part of the world and you were lucky enough to meet Jesus, then you became Christian but you are still a devotee to God. Sikhs happen to be in a part of the world where they happen to become familiar with Guru Nanak Dev Ji‘s principals.”

Let’s love one another just like what Bible teaches in John 13:34-35. At the end of the day, we all are children or creations of God. Stop being ignorant.

Here are a few links if you’d like to learn more about our faith.

Real Sikhism

Sikhwiki

Kaurlife

XOXO.. 🙂 ❤

 

Things you need to realize before tying the knot!

So one of my closest friends called me the other day, who hadn’t talked to me a whole lot since he got married. I asked him how he was doing and he said, “Life jhand hai.Yaar kabhi shaadi ni karni chahiye.Main pachta raha hun karke.” I laughed and didn’t realize that he was not joking. He was distressed. So I sat down and tried to analyze the situation. And then decided to jot everything down so that no one else repeats the mistake he made.

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  1. Can you spend your whole life with them?
    First of all, I told him to sit down somewhere and see if he can spend his whole life with this woman. I told him that right now, it has only been a year. Can you spend the next 60 years of your life with her happily?

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The lesson we can all learn here is that at times in life, a month of being with someone is more than enough to know them if they are being real. Otherwise, we can be with someone for 10 years and still not know them at all. We need to make an effort, get to know each other and figure out if that is what we really want in life. We need to show our true selves and try not to portray something that we are not. Be open about who you are.

2. People change! Learn to love them for who they are!
This is something we all need to understand. Let’s look at ourselves. Are you the same person you were 10 years ago? I sure am not. I am a lot stronger and opinionated than I was before. Change is natural. Our circumstances change, times change, seasons change and just like that, people change.

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It was hard for me to accept this fact in life. But I guess this is what we need to learn. Do you love them enough to accept the changes in them that will take place over the years? Would you still love them the same way?

3. Break-up if your partner is trying to change you!

They decided to be with you for who you were. And now if they are telling you to change the same things they liked once upon a time, it is NOT acceptable. If you force yourself to change, you will lose your ESSENCE.

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While talking to my friend, this is what I I told him.”Tu ping-pong ball ke jaisa tha, aur ab hwa nikli hui football ke jaisa ho gya hai.” We both cracked up after hearing these words come out of my mouth and he said,”Baatein to tu deep kar leti hai, par examples bade ghatiya deti hai. Aise ke bande ki mardangi nikal jaye.” We laughed but he knew that I was saying the right thing.

4. Are they trying to distance you from your family and friends?

Before they came in your life, you already had your family and friends. Your partner coming in your life does not mean that you will start distancing yourself from your loved ones. If that is happening, it is a red flag.

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My friend said that his partner complains about all his friends and then says that nobody likes her. She tells him to stay at home and not go out with his friends. He is losing everyone in his life.

5. Listen to your friends!

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Once you get into a relationship, you will instantly know if your friends like your partner or not. Your friends know you a whole lot more than your partner does. When you look at a relationship from a detached perspective, you can figure out if two people are right for each other or not. So if your friends hate your partner, you should probably think about your relationship again.

6. Is it true love?

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According to me, true love is the one that never dies. The way we love our parents, siblings, grandparents and school friends, that is what pure love is. When you are willing to do anything for the ones you love. No matter how many times you fight or get into arguments, at the end of the day, you love those people with all your heart and there is nothing more meaningful in your life than those relationships. So if you can love a person with that much passion, that is true love. Otherwise, you are just wasting your time my friend!

To be continued… XOXO ❤